So many choices
As I start to know more and more people who have children, I have noticed that women can really be each other's biggest enemy. Granted when women rally together for the common good there is no stopping them but I also think a lot of us spend a good bit of time criticizing each other.
I noticed this when one of my stay-at-home mom friends was telling me how her friend's child was sick all the time because his mom didn't nurse him. "Obviously, he was sick all the time because the mother made the wrong choice of bottle feeding him."
Then you get the stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate which is never ending. The ones that stay-at-home think it's HORRIBLE for a mom to go back to work. The ones that go back to work can't imagine staying at home all day without adult interaction. The moms that try to do both really get caught in the middle! The other day on the Today show, there was a story on "young moms vs. old moms." Geez, I never even thought of that debate!
Other than the motherhood debate, there's all kinds of issues where women feel the need to be better than one another. If you get married, do you keep your maiden name, do you take your husband's name or do you hypenate or not hypenate but use both names? If you stay single and want children, do you adopt? Do you try the other methods of becoming a mom? Do you just decide to have pets instead?
With so many choices it gets confusing. No wonder women try to criticize each other in attempts to make them feel more secure about their own choices! All of this makes me realize that the stereotypical role for men really hasn't changed all that much in the last few decades. Women have gone from having three professions to chose from to unlimited possibilities (which is great!) and their role in the home has totally changed so no wonder people are wondering if they made the right choice. Hopefully soon all women can recognize that "the right choice" is personal for everyone and isn't written in stone. Until then I'm sure I will hear many more stories about how awful someone's choices are!
I noticed this when one of my stay-at-home mom friends was telling me how her friend's child was sick all the time because his mom didn't nurse him. "Obviously, he was sick all the time because the mother made the wrong choice of bottle feeding him."
Then you get the stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate which is never ending. The ones that stay-at-home think it's HORRIBLE for a mom to go back to work. The ones that go back to work can't imagine staying at home all day without adult interaction. The moms that try to do both really get caught in the middle! The other day on the Today show, there was a story on "young moms vs. old moms." Geez, I never even thought of that debate!
Other than the motherhood debate, there's all kinds of issues where women feel the need to be better than one another. If you get married, do you keep your maiden name, do you take your husband's name or do you hypenate or not hypenate but use both names? If you stay single and want children, do you adopt? Do you try the other methods of becoming a mom? Do you just decide to have pets instead?
With so many choices it gets confusing. No wonder women try to criticize each other in attempts to make them feel more secure about their own choices! All of this makes me realize that the stereotypical role for men really hasn't changed all that much in the last few decades. Women have gone from having three professions to chose from to unlimited possibilities (which is great!) and their role in the home has totally changed so no wonder people are wondering if they made the right choice. Hopefully soon all women can recognize that "the right choice" is personal for everyone and isn't written in stone. Until then I'm sure I will hear many more stories about how awful someone's choices are!
Comments
Here's something to ponder though... do you think the emergence of "Mr. Mom" (i.e. the stay-at-home-dad) would be the cause man-to-man criticism? For that matter, is Mr. Mom emerging at all? I can't say I know any stay-at-home-dads, but I think it's a great idea.
Kaci